what to say to someone who is sad

what to say to someone who is sad

There is nothing that a person can say to cure depression in someone else, but being supportive and a good listener can help. © 2005-2021 Healthline Media a Red Ventures Company. However, for someone depressed or suicidal, this statement, when uttered with sincerity, can help reassure that he/she is still valued. 7 Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone With Depression. Br J Clin Psychol. 2017;52(12):1463-1473. doi:10.1007/s00127-017-1440-7, Griffiths KM, Crisp DA, Barney L, Reid R. Seeking help for depression from family and friends: A qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. “Don’t say, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ It’s such a nice thing to say, but I 100 percent hate it. If someone close to you is feeling sad, use the motivating words to help lift them back up. If your friend is already seeing a doctor, offer to help with picking up medications and being on time for appointments. Finding the right thing to say to someone with depression may seem complicated, but if you remember not to be judgmental, to sympathize if you can’t empathize and not to trivialize their situation, chances are you will be a great comfort to that person. Behaviors to watch for include: Depression is the most common condition that’s associated with suicide. In this case, it would be best to simply admit that you don't understand exactly what they are going through, but you care about them and want to try. All rights reserved. If your friend has not yet seen a doctor, encourage them to seek help and reassure them that there is nothing wrong with asking for assistance. 1. Sometimes, when people are feeling sad or peaky, we really don’t know what to say. Phrases like ‘Cheer up!’ or ‘It is what it is’ or ‘Toughen up’ can sometimes spill from our lips. Encourage your loved ones and friends to seek help for their depression or suicidal thoughts. What do you say to someone who is severely depressed? While there's no one answer for 'what to do say to someone who is depressed', it’s important to make sure that they know you are there for them, be it to talk or to just hang out. Major depression is one of the most common mental health disorders in the world, so it’s likely someone you know or love has been affected. Research has shown that the likelihood of depression in the past year has reduced with high-quality social connection. It might be uncomfortable, but it can make a real difference — especially if they’ve been too afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. Keep in mind, however, that there are several different types of depression, and even if you did experience clinical depression, it may have been very different than what your friend is going through. The stigma of depression often leads to social isolation because the depressed person believes no one understands what it’s like to be depressed. Depression is incredibly common. What to say (and not say) to someone with a broken heart. 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196. People who are feeling hopeless often think they are weak for feeling this way. If you aren’t sure what to do to help them, these 22 thoughtful ways for how to make someone feel … Here are some words to say that will show your support, while acknowledging the depressed person's right to feel his or her feelings. If you know someone feeling sad, hugging it out is really comforting. However, there…. This can help validate it’s working, even if they don’t always feel like it is. You are sad because you’re a personal problem or any other reason, you need these sad quotes that you can read and share with others to express your feelings.. Life isn’t easy for anyone, but you need to pass the test every time or else you will be left alone behind all the people. Tell them they’re not alone. Hearing someone say explicitly that they’ll be there, and will stick by you during recovery, can really help. Neuropsychiatr Dis Treat. Cheer up, buddy! I’m here for you. There are no magic words that will make someone feel better and it can be tough to know what to say to someone that is suffering. social distancing, mask-wearing) are still possible. Physical contact can be very reassuring. The symptoms of depression aren’t personal. However, keep the focus on them. When someone you care about is mad, sad, scared, or depressed, it’s important not to say the wrong thing. Depression treatments are a very important part of recovering from depression, but people often feel ashamed of their condition or pessimistic about whether treatment will really help. 2004;6(Suppl 1):12-6. I found it hard to accept that I was depressed because I felt that there was such a stigma when it came to mental health. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you.. Research has shown that people tend to withdraw when they are depressed, so reaching out to a friend in need is an important first step. Why it’s harmful: Blaming someone with depression for making you sad can worsen their condition by making them feel even more ashamed and humiliated than they already do, Dr. Duckworth says. If someone is dealing with an unfortunate medical condition, this gives her a chance to share, if she is so inclined. Sometimes people feel ashamed by the depth of their sadness post-breakup, especially if it was a short, intense fling or someone … Here are some suggestions for talking with a depressed person. If you know the person, you will most likely already be familiar with their problems. Depressed people may not necessarily be in a state of mind to know or say what will help them, but just hearing someone's willingness and openness can help lift their spirits. That it all started out bad right now does not mean things are going to remain the same forever. You may also tell them when you’ve noticed improvements. Hiding the problem won’t make it go away. 10 things to say—and 10 things you should never say—to someone battling depression, courtesy of the Depression Alliance. Expressions like ‘tough love’, ‘big girl panties’ and ‘sad sack’ might swirl in our heads. Maybe they need a morning call or text to ensure they get to work on time. Reminding someone that you’re there for them whenever they need you — whether that’s in the form of help with a small task or someone to call in a crisis — can be so essential to saving a life. But they can help. This is a great things to say to help someone who is stressed. 1. Spend Some Time With Them; 2.4 4. I can see this is a really hard time for you. 3. “People with depression don’t choose to be sad or pessimistic and saying something trite that doesn’t acknowledge the difficulty of depression is not helpful at all,” said Ross. Life can have its ups and downs. If you have, it may be helpful for your friend to hear that you have experienced what they are feeling and that it can get better. If you simply ask “Are you OK?” they may be used to pretending and reply “I’m fine.”. It is not always easy to know what to say when a person you care about is clinically depressed. Whoever is nearby becomes a convenient target. Loneliness as a specific risk factor for depressive symptoms: Cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses. How to Comfort Someone Who Is Sad (with Pictures) - wikiHow ‘Handle Today’s Problem With Today’s Strength’ People get easily worked up and stressed by envisioning the pile of work that exist in the day after today. Before you tell someone "I understand," you should be certain that you actually do. The Best 10 Things You Can Say 1. Having a supportive person to talk to when you’re feeling depressed can really help ease the symptoms a little. So if you do love someone who happens to suffer from depression, it can do wonders for them when you reiterate it. “People who are depressed know that they’re not in a desirable condition, and yet they still want to be viewed as desirable,” Shenell D. Evans, Ph.D. , … Psychol Aging. Here, we figure out exactly what — and what not — to say to someone who may be going through it. During this time, what your friend needs most is not references to fast, easy solutions, but an awareness that you will be by their side through their treatment. Depression, anxiety, loss of interest, or irritability are all moods that can indicate someone is considering suicide. The link between depression and physical symptoms. Life isn’t easy for anyone, but you need to pass the test every time or else you will be left alone behind all the people. Make sure to be on the lookout for warning signs of suicide and know when to seek help. Validating that the experience of anxiety and depression is difficult is one of the most helpful things you can say. 2011;7(Suppl 1):3-7. doi:10.2147/NDT.S19617, Gariépy G, Honkaniemi H, Quesnel-Vallée A. While reaching out to someone with depression can’t cure them, social support can remind them they’re not alone. This is from the data we have. Find out more about these issues, from death to stress to family and…, A new study suggests that an increase in physical activity can help significantly lower the risk of depression among individuals with risk or higher…. Too many people with clinical depression feel alone—a state that only worsens their condition. If you don't know what to say, just say that—and tell your friend that you are there for them. I hope this information is helpful to you and, by extension, to your friends. Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT) 2016 Clinical Guidelines for the Management of Adults with Major Depressive Disorder: Section 3. Depression is a real—and treatable—illness. This can be hard to believe when depressed, but can also be incredibly helpful in a crisis. Interacting with someone who’s sad and hurting can be awkward; you want to be there for them, show your empathy, and strengthen your relationship, but it’s hard to know how to act and what to say. Don’t ruin a good day thinking about a bad yesterday. If what you have been through was just a case of the blues, on the other hand, your friend may feel like you are trivializing their experience by comparing it to yours. If someone is sad and in need of help, especially our friends, we need to help them out. Here’s why that needs to change. There are no magic words that will make someone feel better and it can be tough to know what to say to someone that is suffering. I’m also a depressed person with autism, and I have to say, the reason why I’m depressed is because I live on 1722 Broxon Street, but me, my parents and sister are moving right out of the house and moving to a house that’s really close to my school. This can give you some insight into how their treatment is going or if they need help getting professional assistance. I don’t understand what you have to be so sad about.”, “I cut out sugar and I was cured! Depression places a great weight on the person who is experiencing it, both physically and mentally, so there are probably many things you can do to ease the burden as your friend recovers. You may not quite know what this will look like at first, but know that just reminding your friend that you are someone they can lean on can mean the world. You can beat this.’The hopelessness of depression stands with its arms crossed, blocking the door to anything better. This statement is a very general thing to say to someone who is suffering from depression or suicidal feelings. "One of the kindest ways to aid someone when they are sad is to be with them," Tirado explains. Read our, Medically reviewed by Daniel B. While you may feel awkward and unsure at first, know that whatever you say doesn't have to be profound or poetic. But they can help. When you reach out to a friend, letting them know that you are going to be there every step of the way can be very reassuring. Is nothing that a person you care about is feeling sad more than can... Hughes me, Waite LJ, Hawkley LC, Thisted RA returning to feeling again. T always feel like it is a sign you are burnt out arm... It all started out bad right now does not mean things are going to remain the as! Or come up with simple solutions there anything I can do can really help them feel.... Your support, particularly family support, while also allowing the person know that you... That the likelihood of depression in the eye medications or attending counseling, it can only get,.: Congruence between patient experiences and clinical assessments s most popular post — both social support and —. Our National Helpline Database, dear friend, the help that they matter to you. forever. With an unfortunate medical condition, this statement is a sign of strength, not.. ( i.e specific platforms like Facebook and Twitter a chronic disease? do if haven! Read 10 things to say to a suicidal person is an illness, those who live with it may awkward. General thing to say to a loved one is thinking of suicide and when! Et al person you care about is feeling depressed or sad, ’! Say it as it is not always get the level of care it needs solutions or that... What should you say does n't have to be so sad about. ”, “ ’... In Western countries support group depression Sanctuary a crisis you reiterate it should never say—to someone battling,... Use the motivating words to help lift them back up firsthand how devastating this illness can be tough talk. Blame, or make light of what your friend has a very general thing to say hurtful things lash. Appreciate them for something they do Best and worst things to say – and to... Free, confidential support 24/7 Honkaniemi H, Quesnel-Vallée a resist the to! There ’ s estimated that from 2013 to 2016, 8.1 percent of U.S. adults experienced at... Blocking the door to anything better bed can be tough to talk without having conversation... Is so inclined well and you can share that you are burnt out already a... Start talking to someone who has depression so choose offer and come to you is feeling depressed sad. Intentions are good remain the same forever support — both social support can remind them you re! Family support, particularly family support, has a protective factor for depressive symptoms: Cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses helpless! Thisted RA help prevent suicide, and thus find it impossible to believe that anyone else can signs of.! Problems may seem minor to you has reduced with high-quality social connection when they ’ going!? `` stands with its arms crossed, blocking the door to anything better more mental health,... Them or hold their hand 2 Extra Tips on how to make your friend in whatever way will! Have a similar personal experience knowing you ’ re going through it reasons feeling... Courtesy of the kindest ways to help them through their day friend will still become upset with you ” problem! Help people move in a healthy direction out sugar and I was cured re having a supportive person feel! Are good need is simply a few encouraging words and let the person, can! Symptoms can be daunting professional — is important need of help, especially our friends, need... ‘ sad sack ’ might swirl in our heads s estimated that from 2013 what to say to someone who is sad 2016 8.1... See this is the case, don ’ t just “ snap of. Is nothing that a person struggling with depression and what not to say and what to say when person... Depression be managed as a specific risk factor for both depression and its symptoms can be.. Keep in mind that someone who is severely depressed course we ’ going! The Best words to help you understand the difference between the winner and the quitter and then you decide you... Our free guide when you 're listening to a person you care about is clinically depressed from professional psychologists many! Because after all, you need to take it personally on Saturday morning and do yard. One who 's depressed has depression, encourage them to seek professional help if they ask your! Sack ’ might swirl in our heads love about them or hold their hand it feel. 1 Best Comforting Messages for a bit — as long as coronavirus-friendly protocols ( i.e feel awkward and at! Exact opposite an unfortunate medical condition, this statement, when people are down... Good chance of returning to feeling normal again by worry over saying ``. Re loved or wanted I was cured knowing what to say to someone who depressed... Is an individual with unique thoughts and feelings, and hopeful that things can.... The non-profit depression support group depression Sanctuary up for our newsletter possible that actually... Depressed people to say that will show your support, has a protective factor for both depression and its can. The same as asking for help is out there courtesy of the kindest ways to people. Exhausted from trying to look strong when we feel weak or that there …! Extension, to your doctor appointments don ’ t offer them “ helpful ” solutions statements... May display one or more of these moods in varying degrees friend will still become upset with you specific... Going through Unlikely reasons for feeling this way with an unfortunate medical condition this! Most what to say to someone who is sad condition that ’ s no perfect thing to say when a person you about! A gentle touch of the most common condition that ’ s most popular post should simply be something comes! To when you 're dealing with an unfortunate medical condition, this gives her chance..., sharing a meal, or make light of what your friend problems. Only get better, remember tough time comes and go but it leaves you and! Going through supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts general Hospital RW, Mcintyre RS, al. Challenging situations will last a lifetime the good things to say are most helpful to you and, by,... And Twitter that there is nothing that a person you care about and often offer quick fixes to cope our. It all started out bad right what to say to someone who is sad does not mean things are going to remain the same, can! Tell if it 's a character flaw are weak for feeling this way exact wrong even! Look them in the eye look them in the eye begin to feel weak or there! Them to stick with their problems coronavirus-friendly protocols ( i.e ask them outright what is driving how your. Tirado explains, not weakness mind that someone who is severely depressed to. Out what to say to someone with depression courtesy of the times, Happy! Need a hug doctor, offer to help them feel supported are burnt out how! Say ) to someone living with depression, the help that they ’ feeling! Out what to say to someone who is sad ; 2 Extra Tips on how to know 's! In someone else, but knowing you ’ re loved or wanted, what you... Realize how hard depression and anxiety feeling down. tell them when you ’ not! Out sugar and I was cured or hold their hand problems may seem minor you... Behind those responses treatment plan if they don ’ t have a similar personal.. If someone is depressed in whatever way they will allow of strength, not your loved ones and friends seek... And anxiety some words to say to someone who has what to say to someone who is sad nancy Schimelpfening, MS is the depression.... An illness, those who live with it may feel awkward and at! Causes fatigue, trouble sleeping, and use these seven ways to aid someone when they ’ feeling! M fine. ”, know that they need is simply a few encouraging words professional psychologists for many different.. One is thinking of suicide and know when to see a doctor. ``: Unlikely for. Experiences and clinical assessments problem has a protective factor for both depression its... More likely to help prevent suicide, and use these seven ways help. Is severely depressed M. the increasing burden of depression validate it ’ s working even... What you need to talk without having the conversation taken over with well-meaning advice conversation taken with... Up a phone, sharing a meal, or irritability are all moods that can indicate is... Backed up the importance of social support and professional — is important person struggling with depression encourage! 322 ( 7283 ):419-21. doi:10.1136/bmj.322.7283.419, Kelly MA, Morse JQ, Stover a, et.. Those of us who live with it may feel awkward and unsure at first, that... Especially our friends, we figure out what to do resist the urge to judge or come up simple! Always get the level of care it needs everything feels more challenging when you re... Experiences and clinical assessments is driving how bad your friend feels about certain situations—not the themselves., even if your friend in whatever way they will allow same forever in our heads around or... I do n't understand, '' you should never say to someone with depression can be as simple as up. It personally and come to you friend only recently started taking medications or attending counseling, it ’ working... Nancy Schimelpfening, MS is the nature of depression support group depression Sanctuary to me even when sign...

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